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And then there was The Pharaoh...
 
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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in tpz's LiveJournal:

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Friday, February 3rd, 2006
3:14 pm
I couldn't agree more with these....


9:37 am
xxhairpoetxx mentioned something of everyone posting angry or sad journal entries, so.... fuck fuck fuckity shit, I'm going to kill myself.. WAHHHH.. fuck fuckity! There! There's my angry/sad post. Now for a quote from the movie Closer:

Larry: She doesn't want to be happy.
Dan: Everybody wants to be happy.
Larry: Depressives don't. They want to be unhappy to confirm they're depressed. If they were happy they couldn't be depressed anymore. They'd have to go out into the world and live. Which can be depressing.

:D
Friday, January 13th, 2006
9:14 am
Happy Friday the 13th Everyone! *raises glass for toast* Shall your luck run short and be replaced with despair. :-D
Wednesday, January 11th, 2006
12:47 pm
Let's sing a song for South Korea
Poor guys in South Korea... anyways, from the article found at http://www.clickpress.com/releases/Detailed/7763005cp.shtml ...

"The study results showed that the average world size penis when erect is 14 centimetres (5.5 inches). The biggest averages were registered in France 16 cm (6.2 in), Italy 15 cm (5.9 in), Mexico 14.9 cm (5.8 in) and Spain 14 cm (5.5 in). In the United States, the average is 12.9 cm (5 in) while in Venezuela is 12,7 cm (4.9 in), and in Brazil is 12.4 cm (4.8 in). The smallest averages were found in India 10.2 cm (3.9 in) and South Korea 9,6 cm (3.7 in)."

No wonder women want to fall in love in Paris. We now know the real reason. But honestly, 3.7? And that's an average whereas some are bigger and some are smaller... I guess that's where the term "prick" came from. It's the size of a thorn. Ha! My sympathy goes out to them.
Friday, August 26th, 2005
1:29 pm
I thought I'd share another little excerpt from an email I wrote to my ex-girlfriend after she asked if I had changed at all:

"No, I'm afraid of change ;-) I've become more of an asshole though... and for that, I'm proud of myself. It's one baby step towards growing up and dealing with life's problems. I can see myself in 10 years... wearing tight ripped-up blue jeans, a wife beater with oil and dirt stains all over it.. black smears all over my face, hands and arms... with a cig hanging out of my mouth, a beer in my hand, yelling for little Johnny (who's about 6) to get me a colder beer next time or he's going to face the belt again... then of course the maid-like wife in the kitchen with two black eyes and jittery hands... heh heh :-P I'm such an asshole... but that's my tale for story time today :-) I hope you enjoyed it.. come back next week for Midget Wars: What's REALLY Over The Counter? :-D"
Thursday, August 25th, 2005
9:47 am
The following was a random line in some spam I just got at work... I enjoyed the line so I thought I'd share:
"And the black forest snails actually spat at the flower."
Wednesday, July 20th, 2005
10:20 pm
Damn, it's been a while since I've posted on this thing. Anyways, I'll get started..

On July 10th, I moved down here to Connecticut and started my new job on July 11th which rocks harder than any band I've ever heard of. I've never known a company of 450 employees where everyone loves it and are very pleasant to be around. Starting tomorrow, I get my hands dirty with a real project since this past 1 1/2 weeks was training, playing a game for 3 days (since I need to know how it all works in order to program them) and then messing around with DirectX... DirectX is definitely hardcore, but I think I broke through the ice today with learning how the cameras and lighting work. So now I just need to learn more and get into 3D graphics or maybe even just 2D graphics and work on a side project to make my first million.

At first, I thought this move would be rough since I'm leaving my old life behind and although I miss everyone up there, I know this is the right thing and am happy I went through with it. At this point, I wouldn't mind retiring from this place. Either way, family never dies and good friendships don't either... if friendships do die, they couldn't have been strong both ways. So that's about it in a nutshell. I've been playing a lot of guitar while sipping back some beers and it turns out Sharon (my cousin) has an old keyboard, so I'm going to start playing around with that.

Damn it... I could've sworn I had more news, but I guess not. In the end though, I'm happy and will be even happier once I get my own apartment... then shit's going to go WILD! Woo!
Thursday, June 2nd, 2005
10:48 am
Brilliant
Incubus - Pardon Me Lyrics
Pardon me while I burst
Pardon me while I burst
A decade ago, I never thought I would be.
A twenty three on the verge of spontaneous combustion woe is me
But I guess that it comes with the territory.
An ominous landscape of never-ending calamity.
I need you to hear. I need you to see.
That I have had all I can take
And exploding seems like a definite possibility
To me
So Pardon me while I burst into flames.
I've had enough of the world, and its people's mindless games
So Pardon me while I burn, and rise above the flame
Pardon me, pardon me. I'll never be the same.
Not, two days ago I was having a look in a book
And I saw a picture of a guy fried up above his knees
I said I can relate
Cause lately I've been thinking of combustication as a welcomed
vacation from.
The burdens of the planet earth, like gravity, hypocrisy, and
the perils of being in 3-D...
And thinking so much differently.
Pardon me while I burst into flames.
I've had enough of the world, and it's people's mindless games
Pardon me while I burn, and rise above the flame
Pardon me, pardon me. I'll never be the same.
Never be the same...yeah.
Pardon me while I burst into flames.
Pardon me, pardon me, pardon me.
So pardon me while I burst into flames.
I've had enough of the world, and it's people's mindless games
So pardon me while I burn, and rise above the flame
Pardon me, pardon me. I'll never be the same.
Pardon me, never be the same. Yeah
Wednesday, May 18th, 2005
1:52 pm
How long did you cook this for? And please don't say, 'until it was done,' because it isn't. We need a plan here... A little organization... Otherwise we'll forever be too burnt or too raw to continue on.
Wednesday, May 4th, 2005
10:13 am
THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Dan
2. Danielson
3. Dan-o - thought it was gone, but it's back

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. Zangow
2. onemanpartae
3. Zangow333, and on that note, Zangow666, Zangow999, Zangow888, not sure about the 7's ;-)

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. My big fat head
2. My pasty white skin
3. My will-get-someday-soon beer gut

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. Hmm.. I tend to find something good about everything... my feet get to me to the store, my hands open and lift beers... I can use my knees to hold a beer when lighting a cigarette... and my feet will kick my drunk friends when they're down.. heh heh ;-)

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
[Obviously same as Heather]
1. Irish
2. Italian
3. Scottish

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. Looking up when close to a cliff or on a small pedastool (sp?)... because say it's far looking down... I say it's a whole lot farther to look up... idiots.. :-)
2. Not really scared of anything really... There's freaky moments like Joel's old apartment where you could feel and hear this spirit thingy running around and then running right through you. Then the fucker once opened the movie cabinet (which was 4 deep of VHS movies) and flung all of them all over the floor and even threw some as far as 10 feet away. Joel freaked out when he was home alone from it and called me... so I barehandedly took him in a boxing match with some sage and some convincing words... the spirit that is.. Felt pretty intense, but mission was accomplished. I like how they say "replace the bad with the good" and Joel brings me over to get rid of the playful ghost... comPLETE opposite :-P

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. Coffee
2. Beer
3. Computer
4. Cigarettes - had to add the fourth since those 4 basically conclude my life.

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
I'm at work, so the basic essentials:
1. bikini top
2. tutu
3. thigh-high steel-toed army boots

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS OR MUSICAL ARTISTS:
1. Metallica
2. hm... so many... Matchbox 20 has a lot of songs I like
3. third and final... Michael Jackson! Go Michael! ::screams like a little girl:: ::announcer voice:: Sorry to all those contestants out there that didn't make the cut this year. Better luck next year, losers!

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS:
1. Nothing Else Matters - Metallica
2. Back 2 Good - Matchbox Twenty (good song, I agree with Heather)
3. Amazing - Aerosmith

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
1. Possibly another person, still thinking about that
2. Maybe a touch of trust
3. And how about some independence

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE (in no particular order):
1. I'm cool
2. I suck at life.
3. I really suck.

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE APPROPRIATE SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. Eyes have to be the first... they'll show the evil in people
2. Natural nails... the fake shit are a complete turn off to me... makes people look like they're trying too hard to be who they're not.
3. The overall appearance really... how one carries themselves

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. Drinking
2. Programming - although it's now my job rather than a "hobby"... so how about Web Development...
3. Dreaming

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. Take a piss... is this almost over!?
2. Go back home and slee... drink. ;-)
3. Obtain a full time job that pays me six times what I'm worth.

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
1. Game/Application Programming
2. Web Development
3. Farming

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. Italy
2. Ireland again
3. Somewhere in the tropics where everyone looks really relaxed in the pictures :-)

THREE KID'S NAMES YOU LIKE:
1. Wow buddy, I refused to even mention names with my girlfriend after 2 years... no way I'm touching that topic alone now. And either way, I'm going to adopt, they come pre-named.

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. Be a hero
2. Own a pet monkey
3. Piss on my own again.. not asking all the time, just once... not really asking a WHOLE lot here..

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A BOY:
1. I drink beer - not "girly" drinks.
2. I'll do manual labor... not all the time though, need at least a week to recover :-).. and for those offended... notice the "STEREOTYPICALLY" in the question.
3. I come natural (meaning makeup-less), take it or leave it.

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A CHICK:
1. I don't need sex... but from the looks of it these days, guys and girls are equal in that division.
2. I cook and clean... not on a regular basis though.
3. I sing to songs in the car (woo!)

THREE CELEB CRUSHES:
1. Bah, girly question... fuck celebs... and not literally.

THREE PEOPLE WHO HAVE TO TAKE THIS QUIZ NOW:
1. Okay, omitting this question... I have to get back to work, peace!
Tuesday, May 3rd, 2005
9:25 am
My Horoscope - "Hey, who are the best people to talk to about your romantic issue du jour? Your friends, of course! They're willing listeners. Just pay attention: If some problems are coming up over and over, maybe you need a professional."

Sometime today I'll try to post at least one of the past three nights of the most crazy dreams... I mean too real and some were beyond grotesque. Ok, I'lls be back to update.

Here are the quick overviews... mainly to refresh my memory when i get around to it

1. Metal Concert with Dad and Liam, Met Girl, Lost Liam, Saw Girl again, Really lost Liam, Panic stage

2. Rager at "Mom's" (not her house), insane party, parents show back up, people won't leave, 60 Mexican-looking homeboys for a party next door wanted to use our house and kick all of us out, set my crew up in the garage, they all get killed, i kill the homeboys, intense shit

3. Working at "IDX" and change jobs again, get a "critical", my body starts falling apart - starting on my middle finger, trying to find the antidote or what not to stop it, health people "could" help, can't remember if there's anything else

I'll get into more detail later... It's been the most intense three nights of sleeping... it's not just the dreams, but every single dream I've woken up and was still in the daze of the dream. Okay, until then, work time
Friday, April 29th, 2005
9:29 am
goon
n. Slang
1. A thug hired to intimidate or harm opponents.
2. A stupid or oafish person.

Example: 'Goon'ies never say die!
Thursday, April 28th, 2005
12:22 pm
Good old lunch time. Decided I'd make a post, whether it's interesting or not. Last night, I went with Heather and Aimee to see State Radio, ZOX and a band from middlebury play. Definitely a good show. I'm still curious what happened to the other guy in the band from last time we went to see them. Chad, the lead singer of Dispatch, is now part of State Radio... I think it's possibly the bassist who left, not too sure. Now that I think about it though, he didn't really do much last time. He played a few strums and sang a few lines... heh... Well, they found an awesome replacement. I'm dreading getting back to my work... there's a stupid little piece that should work, but doesn't. I would like to make an announcement on behalf of it: DirectoryEntry objects SUCK! Sure they work good locally, but once it turns remote, they're screwed. It's time for them to reach out and stop being so friggin' selfish. Other than that, I hope a job opens anywhere at this point... I need my own apartment. I think the closest I've felt to home since 8th grade is at the college dorms... the Main Street Suites that is. I had everything in my room and could close my door and be alone whenever I felt like it. To quote Stabbing Westward: "And if I must be lonely, I think I'd rather be alone." Okay, can't think of anything else and should probably get back to coding..
Tuesday, April 26th, 2005
1:19 pm
Good line from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas:
Raoul Duke: "Few people understand the psychology of dealing with a highway traffic cop. Your normal speeder will panic and immediately pull over to the side. This is wrong. It arouses contempt in the cop-heart. Make the bastard chase you. He will follow."
Friday, April 15th, 2005
8:59 am
1. My Name?
2. Where did we meet?
3. Take a stab at my middle name?
4. How long have you known me?
5. When is the last time we saw each other?
6. Do I eat well?
7. Do I believe in God?
8. When you first saw me what was your impression?
9. My age?
10.. Birthday?
11. Color Hair?
12. Color Eyes?
13. Do I have any siblings?
15. What's one of my favorite things to do outdoors?
16. What is one of my favorite things to do indoors?
17. Do you remember one of the first things I said to you?
18. What's my favorite type of music?
19.. What is the best feature about me?
20. Am I shy or outgoing?
21. Would you say I am funny ha or funny sarcastic?
22. Am I a rebel or do I follow all the rules?
23. Am I a dog or cat person?
Tuesday, April 5th, 2005
9:54 am
age: 22 (a month away from 23)

height: 5'9"

location: Colchester/Burlington, VT

hair color: brown

eye color: brown

sexual preference: none, i see how it controls the lives of others. Plus, I have other habits of smoking, drinking and gambling that fulfill that "need" feeling

what do you think of cheerleading: Depends, are we talking about the girls doing the competitions or my middle/high school with the .. yeah.. they'd get a trophy just for leaving before the competition began. :-)

what brand of deodorant do you use: MMScent (MM=Marlboro Medium) and can't remember what other kind I'm using...

Out of the people you've kissed, who was the worst kisser: Nikki (P-something.. can't remember her last name)

do you like pickles: But of course!

do you watch porn: We've all seen it, but I don't on a regular basis.
Do you have any pets: Sushi!

who did u vote for: I didn't. Give some decent options and I'll give my vote. It was the blind leading the blind this past election. If the democrats didn't put a similar idiot to match the current president, maybe I would have put down my 40oz of Bud (not Busch!), and have gone to vote.

do you have your own phone line: Yeah, a celly

your thoughts on abortion: Like Heather wrote: "I think it should stay legal, but its not birth control!!"

do you like Britney Spears: I don't know her.

what do you want to do with your life: I was thinking about living it.

ever been butt naked bangin' on the bathroom floor: Hmm.. possibly... maybe? Don't know.

would you ever get plastic surgery: Maybe to get a chainsaw connected to my arm in place of my hand... then I'd be able to make clearer points.

biggest redneck you know: Hmm... Heather said Bill, but I think it's close between Bill and Eddie.

do you think foreign accents are sexy: Depends what they're saying and who they're saying it to. Other times it can just be annoying.

do you like hot dogs: Yep, cold ones too

last time you went to the doctor: Heh.. me go to the doctors?

ever taken ballet: No, I don't vote! ohhhh ballEt... heh ;-)

last time you used the restroom: A while ago

most attractive person you know: It'd have to be Bush. If I owned a bus, I'd put his face all over it. Then make his daddy clean it off. Heh... j/k... that's kind of disturbing.

piercings: Used to have 2, but they're long gone now

tattoos: do scars count? They're pretty permanent. Like white tattoos!

shoe size: 10 1/2? 11? don't know and I'm not taking off my shoes to check

favorite color: eh... I've answered that question too many times throughout my lifetime... no MORE!

describe yourself in four words: only need one (pun intended) unique

siblings: 3 steps, 1 half, and 1 whole.

underwear: ::sniff sniff:: yep, that's what they are.


coffee cup: coofffeeee.....

laaasstt....
cd you listened to: Eminem's Encore

person you called: Ashley

person that has called you: Mike

person you emailed: John

person who emailed you: John

person you kissed: hmm.. don't know her name. I guess it was more vice versa though... good ole mardi gras, crazy shit.

you have a bf or gf: Nope, definitely not.
you have a crush on someone?: Yeah, Mother Teresa
you wish you could live somewhere else: All the time, but I'm stuck here... god damn gravity.

you think about suicide: Yeah and I have a list of people that should consider it. ::cough::

others find you attractive: Maybe after a fifth of Jack!

you do drugs: Not anymore... well, not recently at least

you smoke: Positive

you like roller coasters: WeeEEee!

you write in cursive or print: I type.

for or against....
long distance relationships?: Why single out long distance ones? I say fuck em all

using someone?: All about it... jesus now... what kind of question is that

used by someone?: Doesn't get better than that!

suicide: Depends who's doing it?

killing people: Two words: Population control.

doing drugs: Depends if they're for fun or if they're your reality. Once they take control, it's no longer recreation. Shit, even lost a long termed friend over that shit.

premarital sex: marriage... i like how that follows all the death/drug questions... makes sense, good place for it.

do you....
like the taste of blood: Only my own

believe in love: Everyone does, it's the different levels that should be questioned.

believe in soul mates: Yeah, but I've come to the conclusion that I don't want to meet mine. Life would be too easy. :-)

believe in love at first sight: Yeah, and it can fade just as fast.

believe in god: Not god, but higher beings

ever cried over a girl/boy: left and right

ever lied to someone?: Ha... even George Washington told lies... Everyone know the story about "couldn't tell a lie" so he came clean about the cherry tree of his father's that he cut down? Yeah, that story was a fabricated lie. There was no tree and it wasn't the right environment for a cherry tree in the first place. I love it!

ever been arrested: No cuffs, but yeah, twice. I didn't think it was considered an official "arrest," but those idiots kept calling it that

ever dated anyone who's in your lj friends list: Nope

ever been in a fist fight: Negative

what...
are you scared of: "The only thing to fear, is fear itself"

of times I have been in love?: What? What am I answering? "what... of times I have been in love".. what kind of fucking wording is that!? I'll just say it was wasted time.

of times I have had my heart broken?: I'm awaiting the next time.

of hearts I have broken?: I didn't break em, just ripped em out ::cough:: Sorry, these questions are getting lame

of boys I have kissed?: Ha! Wasn't in a sexual way though, I was drunk and kissed everyone in the dorm. Wait, think that'd be 2 then? Maybe 3? Jesus, dirty sluts.

of girls I have kissed?: Too many.

of men I've slept with? No when "slept" is used, I'm assuming it means sex, therefore 0.

of girls I've slept with?: Only three
of continents I have lived on?: 1

of drugs taken illegally?: Hmm... if I wasn't at work, I'd list em. But if someone wants a number, I'll do that later.

of people I would classify as true, could trust with my life type friend?: I have a short list, but I'd rather watch my own back. Less to depend on.

What's the best gift you've ever received?: Life :-D

What's the best show you've ever attended?: Matchbox 20 was good, but I really enjoyed the Meatloaf and Cyndi Lauper concert... it kicked ass.

If you had to give up either music or sex for the rest of your life, which would you pick?: I've already given up sex. Fuck it (no pun intended this time)!

What's your favorite bad-for-you food?: If it's good, it's good-for-me food

What rockstar would you be a permanent groupie for, no questions asked?: I wouldn't. They all have problems. If I like their music, I'll listen to their music. Doesn't mean I want to tag along and be the sidekick.. fuck that, I'm running my own show!!

If you could lose (or get back to re-lose) your virginity to any person living or dead, who would it be? I'd just take all it back... ignorance is bliss!

Are you a dog person or a cat person?: Cat, but love both

What's your favorite US city?: there are no more US cities, only BUSH cities...

Have you ever made out with more than one person in the same 24 hour period?: made out? Negative... wait... yes I did... another drunken moment though... I think all 8 people did. And yes, I wish I could forget that. More friggin' dirty sluts.

Favorite curse word?: fuck

Have you ever had a romantic/sexual encounter with a rock star?: Yeah, they rocked my blues away.


What's the craziest/stupidest thing you've ever done while drunk?: The list continues to grow on a daily basis

What current trend do you think is ridiculous and wish would go away immediately?: Waking up in the morning - yet it still has a lot of followers
Saturday, April 2nd, 2005
2:01 pm
Thursday, March 31st, 2005
1:17 pm
A husband shopping center has just opened in Vilnius where a woman may go to choose a husband from among many men.

The store is comprised of six floors, and the men increase in positive attributes as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch.
As you open the door to any floor you may choose a man from that floor, but if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down except to exit the building.

So a woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men have jobs. The woman reads the sign and says to herself, "Well, that's better than my last
boyfriend but I wonder what's further up?" So up she goes.

The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.
The woman remarks to herself, "That's great, but I wonder what's further up?" And up she goes again.

The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking. "Hmmm, better" she says. "But I wonder what's upstairs?"

The fourth floor sign reads: Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and help with the housework. "Wow!" exclaims the woman, "very tempting. BUT, there must be more further up!" And again
she heads up another flight.

The fifth floor sign reads: Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak. "Oh, mercy me! But just think... what must be awaiting me
further on?" So up to the sixth floor she goes.

The sixth floor sign reads: Floor 6 You are visitor number123,456,789,012,345,678 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping Husband Mart and have a nice day.
Wednesday, March 23rd, 2005
5:34 pm
Okay... so today wasn't the typical day... nor would I like it to be my typical day. It started off around 6:00am when I set my alarm... After a few (or many) successful swings at the snooze button, I finally got up around 7:10am and missed my first shot at the hot water in the shower. I ate a bowl of cereal and read about the murderer in Burlington that was busted (and hopefully will be burned at the stake soon). Anyways... I tested the water a few times after my step mother was done with the other shower, yet had to wait until 7:40am to finally get in although I was supposed to be at the hospital at 8:00am and I was about 15 minutes away. Fuck that. I knew I'd be waiting anyways, so I took my time. I was meeting my mom there as well since she likes to question the doctors on anything possible. She called me at 8am when I was just leaving and luckily she was late too so didn't matter.

Anyways, finally showed up and realize she's getting ready for her GREs (like SAT's for graduate school) in which I think I'm going to get ready for as well soon so I can bust them out. She's good with the english part and I kicked ass in the math section. I was tutoring on all the easy ways to get around math. Luckily I was always right, so now she knows I know my shit :-D I'll probably be tutoring her again this weekend at my Aunt's house, but it's a good thing. I really love teaching. It's the one part I miss about the TA job. I don't miss the kids who expected me to do their homework, but rather those that wanted to learn and would try hard to understand. It's actually where Josh (my good friend) and I got closer and became good friends. He's a networking kid and took the programming section of a course cause he wanted to be rounded, so I taught him what I could and he got it down. Why? Because he didn't give up. Now that's a moral of a story, not this one though. :-) Actually, this one's the complete opposite.

Back to the story. They finally called me in for a preliminary interrogation. Oh wait.. I jumped ahead. I went to the bathroom when I first got there and signed in. They gave me a questionnairre. My dad spilled the guts on accident that I smoked on a regular basis to my mom yesterday so she filled out half of the questionnaire and one of the questions she did was Did I Smoke... then she left How Much blank. I thought it was funny more than anything.... she didn't. So I filled out the rest of it and never filled out how much cause my mom told me she was waiting for me to fill it out.And yes, I'm a taurus - stubborn as hell. I was expecting the nurse to ask me this in the preliminary casue my mom came in for it and that's just how my luck runs, yet she never mentioned anything. Onwards, we went through the questioning and then we were put into a different side waiting room. I ended up tutoring her more until I was taken away again by the nurse to get changed into a hospital gown (definitely was sporting it).

Now the fun ::cough:: begins. I came into the room where I was told to go after I changed and the only cute nurse was in there. At first, I could only think "fuck.... not going to be good news" :-) Never want good looking nurses around... particularly touching you in those certain parts... hasn't happened to me yet and hopefully it never does... only because it's a hospital and that's just not right. Luckily, she left and another older unattractive lady came in to save the day. She was an extremely sweet lady so it worked out nonetheless...and no... not the same thing as when a good looking nurse is touching me :-D I don't think they're allowed to though. People need to know they're in a hospital, not a whore house ;-)

After getting settled, I heard the famous words of the old fuck (nothing against him, just his job) that told me the same thing during an ultrasound of my prostrate, "Roll to your right and bring your knees up"... god, wish I never had to hear this again. Anyways.. it started with these little sticker things that measured one thing or another... I'm not quite sure and honestly don't care what they do. [Leaving out some minor details] Then they showed me this tube... 14 Fr... same size I cath with everyday... only a balloon around it that they blow up... completely disturbing, but yes, had that fucking thing shoved up my ass to measure one thing or another... maybe how loud i can scream? :-) j/k.
Anyways, as bad as it sounds... it wasn't worse than the thing I do everything multiple times... yes... cathing... The bitch did it allllll extremely wrong. You're supposed to angle everything correctly and do it slowly... she didn't... She made it soooo painful... and then when it was all done, she would grab the tube and pull the fucker out as fast as possible... another no-no... I even told her some tips to make it less painful, but they don't fucking care. She still didn't change. And it wasn't the sweet nurse (who put on the radio for me) but the preliminary questioning bitch who seemed a little off. Anyways... had to deal with the shit stuck roughly up my dick and my ass and luckily after an hour or a little less, it was finally over. I went out to lunch with my mom and then headed back to work for another 5 hours... definitely sucks working after all that bullshit. It wasn't bad after a while, but oh well.

To top it all off though... this was supposed to bring answers to why my bladder sucks... nope! nothing! instead they have no idea what's causing the problem besides the fact that my bladder doesn't work at all. Now there's about a half dozen things they can do starting from snipping more things to implanting a cord that goes in around my tail-bone and the cord raps around to a beeper thing i wear which sends electric pulses into my S3 nerve.... yeah, fuck that... So now... yeah.. it's almost official that there's no hope. I'm going to be stuck cathing the rest of my life.... and honestly... I'm already getting used to it. So I just say quit sticking shit up my ass and I'll go on with life. I'm sure I'm missing more details... but I'm going to post now and we'll see what comes of it... any questions I'll answer, although the doctors couldn't do it for me.... useless bastards. Definitely have to try this doctor thing again in Boston or some place better in the medical field.
Thursday, March 17th, 2005
1:11 pm
TEN Random Things About Me:


  • I'm an asshole.
  • I work at IDX
  • I'm a computer nerd
  • I beat up girls
  • I make Casper look Mexican
  • I detest bad relationships ... they're worthless
  • I detest good relationships ... they're sickening
  • I defend myself (verbally) against everyone and anyone (even old ladies)
  • I strive for the Mad Cow Disease
  • I'm going to have a disease named after me

</p>

NINE Ways To Win My Heart


  • Be truthful
  • Do something with your life
  • Don't interfere with my actions
  • Don't talk shit unless expecting it back
  • Don't take offense to my jokes (I suck at being sarcastic)
  • Don't waste my time
  • Buy me a pet rock named Albert
  • Take me to the zoo
  • Run away with me

</p>


EIGHT things I want to do before I die


  • Live
  • Travel the world
  • Swim in a pool full of $100 bills (can be a kiddy pool)
  • Live in a mansion
  • Adopt a kid
  • Own a pet monkey to keep my pet rock Albert company
  • Take over the US Government and bring some reality back into this country
  • Pay Bill Gates to wax my shoes

</p>


SEVEN ways to annoy me


  • Tell lies or start conspiracies
  • Get in my way
  • Start talking shit before introductions are even made
  • Slap me in the back of the head
  • Stay in a bad relationship and make me listen to the constant bitching
  • Ask for my opinion and then hold it against me
  • Think about stealing my pet rock

</p>


SIX embarrassing moments


  • Not answering this one... they're too graphic and not really embarassing, just steal all dignity.

</p>


FIVE things I'm afraid of


  • Living my life without meeting my pet rock Albert
  • Dying a lame death
  • Forever sleeping on a couch the rest of my life
  • Being afraid of something
  • Being afraid of someone

</p>


FOUR favorite items in my room


  • Not applicable... don't have a room.

</p>


THREE things I do everyday


  • Work
  • Drink
  • Sleep

</p>


TWO things I want to do right now


  • Drink.... it's St. Patty's Day
  • Program... .NET is still installing (hence doing this survey)

</p>


ONE person I want to see right now


  • Albert

</p>
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